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So this pilot walks into an airport bar...

Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 4:27 pm
by ussyorktown
So this pilot walks into a bar and sees a fetchingly pretty stewardess. Image
He doesn't recognize her uniform and he wants to get close to her.
"what airline?"
She ignores him.
He starts to think of airline slogans.
"The sky is our home-make it your home too."
She continues to look forward.
"We know the reason you fly."
She continues to look forward but takes a deep breath.
The pilot then says, "Singapore girl, come fly with me!"

She then turns to him and yells in his face, WHY DON'T YOU * [go to heck-revised]

The pilot sits back confident, "ahhhhh. United Airlines!"

*Noun 1. fug - (British informal) an airless smoky smelly atmosphere "why don't you go airless, smoky smelly atmosphere" yourself.

Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 5:34 pm
by Jim Stewart
I'm going to get in trouble here, I know it...

Q: What's the difference between a flight attendant and a jet engine?
A: The jet engine stops whining after the airplane reaches the gate.

Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 6:07 pm
by ussyorktown
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess So the boy asked the stewardess,

"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case.

"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain that to you.
Image
(I donno. Isn't that where light sport planes come from?)
Image

Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 7:50 pm
by jnmeade
1. We have a forum for aviation humor, if this thread can be considered funny. It may belong there but certainly does not belong in Hangar Talk.

2. I find this kind of post inappropriate in any event. I don't like the idea that spelling words in "cute" ways is supposed to allow them to get through filters but still make sure we all know the full effect of the word. The 8th grade images and consequent innuendo about airplane coupling is at best in poor taste and to me is simply disgusting.

Moderator, please take action to remove the thread, at least from Hangar Talk and preferably from the site.

Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 9:36 pm
by ussyorktown
Here we go again! Jeeze.
The reason this is funny is because people who deal with a certain airline know that their personnel treat people like this.
Let me amend it and see if the joke sounds as effective.
"You go to heck!"

Yeah. You're right. Adult males have now been protected and we saved the humor. Please return to your homes. Nothing to see here. Move along.
Image
The tragic picture of the plane collision and the inspirational picture of a plane being refueled have nothing to do with anything but clean, pure thoughts about aviation. Some people must score high on the ink blot tests.

Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 10:27 pm
by fredg
Its called "Hangar Talk", not Humor Talk. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I read SportPilotTalk.com for information on flying and sport planes.

But, I've seen enough nonsense and ridicule of those who think it should still be about flying and sport planes in recent weeks to realize that it is no longer of any value to me. Sorry to see it decline into foolishness. There are better forums, so I'm out of here. Best of luck with your comedy career.